The Red Button
by Guro of Flowers
Summary: If you're looking to laugh at Ron Weasley's dense-ness...


Disclaimer: I own nothing

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"Oh, come on, Hermione! It's not like anything will happen!" Ron Weasley was persistently pestering one Hermione Granger into pressing a magical red button that the two had found behind the tapestry just outside the Gryffindor Common Room.

What they were doing behind said tapestry has not been disclosed to the public.

That is, I don't think the public wants to know.

"Ronald, you can't be serious! Look at it, will you? It says "Do Not Press"!" she exclaimed, exasperated.

Ron frowned, leaning on the wall next to the button. "Well I think we should press it."

Hermione made to leave, but Ron put a hand on her shoulder. "Think about it," he reasoned.

"If we really weren't supposed to press it, then it would be protected by magic, wouldn't it? Then we wouldn't be able to press it even if we tried."

Hermione raised her eyebrows. "Well that was very clever reasoning, especially for you, Ron."

He grinned proudly for a moment before realizing exactly what she was implying and grumbling about her utter lack of faith in him.

"Oh, be quiet. It doesn't matter anyway, because we're _not_ pressing that button."

"But--"

"No buts! Off to bed with you, Ronald Weasley," Hermione directed, shooing him through the painting and into the common room.

"Hmph," he grumbled as he obediently ascended into his dormitories.

~()~()~()~()~()~

"So what happened?" Harry questioned as soon Ron entered the room.

"Wha-?" Ron blinked.

"Come on," Seamus said. "It's almost midnight. _Something_ must have happened."

"Tell us!" Neville spoke up.

"What, are you women or something?" Ron frowned. "Guys don't ask questions about dates."

"And you call yourself men," Dean muttered jokingly.

Ron felt eyes on him as he walked towards his area.

"If you must know," he said, "I found a red button."

The four of his roommates raised their eyebrows.

"But she wouldn't let me push it," he continued.

"Oh, I see how it is," Seamus offered, winking. "Don't worry, she'll come around."

"Huh?" Ron frowned.

"Yeah, Ginny wouldn't let me 'push the button' either, until-" Harry broke off suddenly, glancing at Ron's face.

The other three wizards closed their curtains.

"Wait you and Ginny found the button, too?" Ron questioned excitedly.

"You're not...mad?" Harry asked cautiously.

"Why would I be mad?" Ron inquired, further confusing Harry.

"Well," he explained, "you said that you'd be angry if I told you I'd done anything with Ginny."

"I didn't mean _anything_. Obviously I don't mind if all you two did was find a red button," Ron answered, wondering how his best mate could be so dense.

"So did you push it?" Ron pressed, no pun intended.

"Are you going to be mad if I say yes?" Harry replied carefully.

"Of course not," Ron exclaimed impatiently, "I just want to know what happened when you pushed it!"

"Well that's just wrong, Ron!"

"What?" Ron frowned, confused and exhasperated.

"She's your sister!" Harry continued, a look of disgust on his face.

"All we're talking about here is a button! Did it really cause something that bad to happen?" Ron cried, growing angry.

Harry paused, staring at his friend and growing more creeped out by the minute.

Ron paused also, taking in Harry's expression.

After a few moments of disturbed silence, Ron spoke up.

"So where was the button when you found it?" he asked.

"AHHH!" Harry yelled, freaked out. "I'm not going to tell you!"

"Why not?" Ron seethed, "I want to know!"

In his frustration Ron scrambled to find his wand.

"Ron stop it!" a female voice called.

...from under Harry's bed.

"...Ginny?" he questioned as his sister crawled out from her hiding place.

"What is she doing in here?" he asked Harry, infuriated.

"I thought you said you weren't mad!" Harry answered, confused.

"I wasn't mad about the-" Ron paused, beginning to piece together the scene he was living through.

"Wait, so pushing the button actually meant...and you and Ginny..."

"Ron?" Harry asked, terrified for his friend- or perhaps enemy, now- who was turning as purple as Vernon Dursley.

"I'll give you a two seconds head start, Potter," Ron seethed, and by the time he had extracted his wand, Harry was out the door screaming.

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_End_

Well that was...interesting.

Review!

~Guro of Flowers


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